Through the Pain
by bookworm45
Summary: MicMac. Slightly AU. In this world, Michelle Dessler 24 is a CSI at the crime lab. After a long, hard day, Mac needs a little extra love.


It had been a long day for the CSIs of the NYPD Crime Lab.

Mac and Lindsay had worked a 419 in Central Park. Male victim, shot twice. One shot in each eye. He apparently looked to lustfully at the killer's girlfriend.

Stella worked solo on a case Uptown. A young man in his early twenties found dead in an alley. He had been unlucky enough to see a drug deal going down. He'd started to call the police and been knifed for his trouble. Flack had been the responding officer and insisted on staying until Stella was finished processing. He didn't want to risk anything happening to her. But she wasn't about to tell anyone else about that.

Danny and Sheldon worked a break in at a jewelry store in Midtown. The owner was having some financial difficulties and decided to stage a robbery to collect insurance. Ironically, the thief he hired took off with his jewelry.

Michelle worked solo on a rape case. The guy was just a jerk who randomly picked his victims. He saw the young lady leaving a coffee shop and decided he was in the mood for a little rape. Blessedly, his DNA was in the system and it was as close to an airtight case as humanly possible.

It was a good day, considering that they'd caught each of their suspects, but that didn't mean the day hadn't taken it's toll on everyone. After all the necessary paperwork had been completed, they decided to go out for drinks. Sheldon opted out, since he had a hot date, so the rest of the team wished him well and decided to go over to The Watering Hole. It was a bit on the noisy side, but what else could you expect on a Friday night?

They found a corner booth large enough for all of them and squeezed in. Mac was on the far right, with Michelle next to him, and Stella across from him. Flack was seated between Stella and Danny, and Lindsay on Michelle's other side. They ordered a round of drinks and let the alcohol numb their minds. The more they drank, the more comfortable they got. Mac rested his arm on Michelle's shoulder, pulling her closer. Lindsay and Danny stared at each other miserably. Flack and Stella were trying desperately not to be quite so demonstrative, but Don couldn't help letting his arm hug her waist and caress the skin just under her shirt.

Somehow their own variation of truth or dare got started.

"Truth or Dare, Stella?" Mac asked.

"Truth."

"What was your worst reaction to a crime scene when you were a rookie?"

"MAC! You know the answer to that one."

Mac smirked. "I know, but not everyone else does."

"What's the matter with you, Mac?" Lindsay asked. "You tryin' to embarrass Stella?"

Stella laughed. "You never Mac after a few drinks before? He loosens up."

"Nice try, Stella, but you still have to answer the question. Unless you wanna kiss Danny."

"Hey!" Flack and Lindsay said simultaneously.

"Okay, okay," Stella said. "First stabbing victim I was given. The M.E. estimated that it had taken an hour for the victim to bleed out, and there was blood all over the place. I vomited on the victim's foot. Mac insisted on collecting DNA and trace off the body before letting me near a body for months afterwards."

Everyone laughed. They'd all experienced that first crime scene, even if they hadn't vomited on the body itself.

"Your turn, Stella." Lindsay said.

"Mac," Stella said. Mac groaned. "What was your reaction to your first dead body?"

Mac immediately sobered. "I was 20. In Beirut."

Stella put her hand over Mac's. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to – "

"No, it's okay. I was in Beirut. First time I'd seen fire. I saw my buddy go down. I shot the man who killed him, and after it was over. I went to see the man's body. He was still alive. He was younger than I was. Couldn't be more than 15. He didn't even see me. He just cried out for his mother in Arabic. Then he died. I couldn't believe I'd killed a boy. It took me a long time to realize that he may have been a boy, but he made the choice to kill. He chose to risk his life."

Don nodded in understanding. "You're a good man, Mac."

After that there wasn't much more to say. Michelle hugged Mac close and kissed his chest.

Mac looked at his watch. "It's been a long day. I think I'm going to head home." No one was really surprised when Michelle got up with him.

Michelle flagged a cab and gave the driver Mac's address. Once they reached his house she paid the driver and took Mac's keys from him. She opened his apartment and led him inside. He was in a daze. She led him to the couch and sat down next to him.

"You want to talk about it, Mac?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, Chelle. I won't be very good company tonight."

"It's okay, Mac. I still love you."

Mac pulled her close. "I love you, too, but you don't want to be around when I get flashbacks. Trust me. Even Claire would clear out when the flashbacks came."

"That was Claire's choice. This is mine. I'm not leaving you alone like this, Mac."

Mac shuddered as the memories washed over him, memories of men dying in his arms, memories of children bleeding from the carelessness of the enemy. Michelle climbed on his lap and held him. He felt the tears running down his cheeks. She gently kissed them away. How long they stayed there Mac didn't know, but the memories finally started to clear. He took a deep breath and began to tell Michelle all of it. They sat there until morning talking.

At dawn she fixed him breakfast and took him to bed. She loved him gently and kissed his face as he fell asleep. He woke a few hours later to the feel of her curled against his side. He knew he'd found a good woman. No one had ever sat and held him through the flashbacks. No one listened all night as he bared his heart. No one ever loved him like she did. He kissed her hair and fell asleep again. He would never be free of the memories. He didn't really want to be free of them. He wanted to remember the men and women who gave their lives for this country, but he was grateful for a woman who would stand by him through the pain.


End file.
